That Floating Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the past year, a handful of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
The 'Sex and the City' Sequel
Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with dreadful writing, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the third series began, it looked like it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers certainly found joy dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the smallest of this show's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.
MobLand
Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like reading a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.
The Inheritance
It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.
Too Much
How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the shrewd inclusion of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.
Prime Target
We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
